I embark on my first steps into the blogging world as a Jesuit. I actually used to write stuff online when I was in high school and part of my college years, but this is the first "official" blog that I've had on an actual blogging site. Most who know my writings used to receive my frequent e-mails through which I updated them on my journey while I was in the novitiate (we aren't allowed to have blogs in the novitiate). This blog is an evolution of those e-mails, and it is my hope that I will be able to write on a fairly regularly basis. By regular, I mean at least one posting a week, if not more.
Although it has been mentioned to me on a number of occasions that I should begin blogging, I only really started to seriously consider it within the past month or so. As Jesuits, we are called to be available, to have the freedom to move to where we are being asked to go. The Jesuits currently have 3 philosophy programs in the US (Chicago, St. Louis, and New York) and one in Toronto that Jesuit Scholastics in the US are sent to. When I was sent to Fordham, it was not because I lobbied and told my superiors to send me there. Honestly, I didn't have a preference either way to which place I would be sent. I think anywhere they decided to send me would have been a good experience. So, I told my superior that I was open to go anywhere, and that is how I ended up at Fordham for first studies.
However, we Jesuits have so many gifts and talents. There is a level of tension we experience in being available while trying to cultivate our own individual gifts. For me, one of them is music. The other, as I was praying about what passions I had, was writing--not the academic, research kind, but the deeply personal and reflective kind. Writing about my experiences in the novitiate gave me life--I had the opportunity to share honestly and openly my budding journey as a Jesuit.
The blogging world, however, can be a nasty place. You are vulnerable, open to criticizing eyes which can leave their mark with a simple click of the mouse. I considered this. This vulnerability is compounded by the fact that I am a representative of the Catholic Church and the Society of Jesus. Anything I write can come back to haunt me.
But, this is a classic case for Jesuits of discernment. Do I choose out of fear or because of life? This first post is the culmination of that discernment.
So, I really have no idea what will come of this blog (the title, or non-title if you like, of my blog is indicative of that). My writings will vary in content and form. One day, I may feel like using this space for prayer. Other days, I may feel like writing about something in the news, or it could be to share a funny story I overheard in community. If I feel that the blog is not working out, I will probably close the door on it. But, we'll see. If God wills to inspire, then that will be shown here in my writings.
I end by giving thanks to my superiors who, through prayerful reflection, accepted my request to begin this new experiment into the blogging world. Until next time! ~AMDG