Thursday, February 5, 2009

Oh no he di'int! (disclaimer: this is meant to be fun and should be read with a grain of salt)

So I was minding my own business this morning with a nice bowl of granola, chuckling to myself as I read the comics, when an unnamed Jesuit who will not be named (his name is Ryan) totally ruined my inner sanctum of peace and tranquility as he spewed out hate against stick dancing and little lambs.  And I was like--"oh no, you di'int just go there!" 

So, this unnamed Jesuit happens to also be in the blogging world, and he's been around for quite some time (years, I might add, because he's kind of old). For some reason, since day one, this unnamed Jesuit found it necessary to call me names, even to identify me in the negative as "non-Irish Ryan." OK, just because my name happens to be Irish doesn't mean that I'm Irish, which doesn't mean, therefore, that you can identify me as non-Irish just because I'm non-Irish.  

Now, I'll take a verbal beating now and then because I will gladly carry that cross for the Lord. But, when you involve the sticks and the lambs, that is just going too far. So, I threw off the gloves and said: "what, you wanna start somethin? 'Cause, believe me, you don't wanna start somethin!"  And he's like: "bring it, foo!" and I was like: "ooh, it's already been broughten!" 

OK, so it wasn't exactly "broughten" at that point in time, but that's beside the point, because it's being "broughten" right here, right now.  It's only been a week, and already someone has felt it necessary to wage a "blog war" with me.  That's right, a "blog war." 

You think your hateful comments can get me down? Think again! In the words of Mandy Moore, "I'm filled with the love of Jesus!" I will be your worst nightmare. First, I will call upon the intercession of Our Blessed Mother to convert that dark heart of yours, followed by a novena that beseeches for your own perpetual poverty, chastity, and obedience. And then, when I pray my examen, I will look back at all of those times that you looked down upon me with disgust and ask the Lord to forgive you.  That's right, forgiveness! Hurts, doesn't it? And that's only the beginning, my friend. You don't know what you've awoken today. 

In the [adapted] words of Hulk Hogan, "Whatcha gonna do when the Holy Spirit runs wild on you?" (manly grunt) 

[For those who are concerned, I'm not really starting a blog war and the unnamed blogger named Ryan and I get along just fine]

No comments: